How Do I Cheat Thee?

By: Rowena Lim

This little piece of poetry is dedicated to everyone in the SMWPR rating system.

(Note from CereCere: The SMWPR rating system Roween refers to was a code you could place on your page at one time, where people could rate your site on a scale from 1 to 10. The sites with the best ratings would make a top 10 list of sites. It has nothing to do with Web Page Reviewers.)

How do I cheat thee?
Let me count the ways…

I cheat thee that’s why, I visit thee everyday
And rank thee a one come what may

I cheat thee that’s why, the ranking fragment I hide
With passwords, or secret files, or in my hard disk deep inside

I cheat thee that’s why, my snippet I tamper
So thou can rank me eight, nine, or ten there after

I cheat thee that’s why, I tell all my friends
To help me rank thy site down to the ends

I cheat thee that’s why, I give myself a ten
Logging in and out again and again

I cheat thee that’s why, I check every time
If thy site has gotten way ahead of mine

Why do I cheat thee?
That is but a mystery…

Important Notice: This is just a piece of satirical poetry I wrote to poke fun at the SMWPR. No, I do not cheat and I am not even part of this system at present. The cheats I’ve mentioned above really do happen, and Koy himself can vouch that I have reported numerous cheaters I’ve caught. This is for the sake of my friends who have been vicitmized by the rampant cheating in the SMWPR.

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Comments on this article can be sent to: Rowena Lim.

Comments made on this page are opinions of the author. They are not necessarily shared by Tripod and the Amazoness Quartet.