The Lemures Files
  Guest Article: May 28th, 2000

Ode to DiC

By: Chibi Rocket

*clears throat*

Giving odd names
That make no sense
Turning males
Into females

All the censors
Make me want to
Throw up on my
New fan-subs

Dumb mistakes and
Making more names
That are harder
To pronounce

Turning our
Beloved SM
Into a Stupid joke.

Okay, now that that's over, we can get to something real. Just about everyone who likes Sailormoon knows now that DiC has gotten their icky paws all over the 3rd and 4th seasons of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon, Sailormoon S and Sailormoon SuperS. But, the question we're all asking is, "What are they going to do to our beloved outers?" Well, I'll get to that first. So, you all remember Zoisite, right? Do you remember what DiC did to him? They turned him into a girl! Ick. If that's what they did to Zoisite for being too feminine, just imagine what'll happen to our dear Haruka! They might just grab the same eraser they use on the transformations and turn those very few skirts into shorts! *shudder*

But what about Hotaru? The names Helen, Hera, Tara, or even Terry could be what DiC calls her! Gee, this girl has some evil spirit inside of her, has strange powers, could bring on the Silence with just a simple cup, and her name is Helen. That suits her so well. Yick.

Then, there's our dear Setsuna. I guess the voice they gave her does suit the character pretty well. But what will they name her? Susan? Celia? Sarah? Sora? Oh, wait a sec, if DiC named her Sora I'd be sure to sue. Yick!

Then, there's the case of ChibiUsa becoming Sailorchibimoon. What will DiC call her senshi, ahem, scout form? Little Sailor Moon? Sailor Sugar Moon? Sailor Tiny Moon? Sailor Rini? Or, just plain Rini!

Of course, there's Michiru. I guess if they did what I said to Haruka, it might be fine. Or, maybe they'll just make the couple sisters. That might be a DiC thing to do.

So, now we've taken care of some possible answers to that question. But, what about our beloved villains?

Kaolinite's the first matter. If you've seen her take a heart crystal, you know it's not a DiC-ish thing to do. What on Earth will happen to that? I have no idea, but I know it will not be anything like it used to be.

Of course, there's the Death Busters. What will they do to that name? The Wicked Busters? The Nega Busters? Or, will they just be even more agents of the Negaverse?

But, then there's the topic of the Witches 5. They're so cruel to each other! But, DiC might just soften that up a bit. After all, they're the bad guys! They're supposed to die, anyway.

Then, again, there's Hotaru. Will she be the NegaScout? Or, the Wicked Scout? Maybe, "The Really, Really, Evil, Scary Scout From The NegaMoon".

So, I haven't found any more quirks about S. But, then, there's SuperS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

The first thing that comes to mind is the title of the villains, the Dead Moon Circus. Dead is not a DiC word. Maybe the Nega Circus! Or, the Wicked Moon Circus. Perhaps it'll be the Scary Circus or the Evil Circus. We may never know (until fall, that is).

Of course, there's FishEye. DiC will probably pull a Zoisite on him. Maybe the rest of the trio, too!

Then, folks, there's the Amazoness Quartet. Their outfits are so skimpy! What will DiC do about that? I don't know about you, but I'm scared. Very scared.

Comments on this article can be sent to: Chibi Rocket.

Comments made on this page are opinions of the author. They are not necessarily shared by Tripod and the Amazoness Quartet.

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