The Lemures Files
  Guest Article: July 18th, 1998

About the Intriguing Relationship between Haruka and Michiru

By: eViL rEbO

Disclaimer: This lemures is intended as a parody of the SOS article "The Intriguing Relationship Between Haruka and Michiru." I do not hate Haruka and Michiru. They are one of my favorite couples. I am not attacking homosexuality, or being narrow-minded. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am trying to attack the narrow-minded attitude of the SOS fan organization, which made a mockery of the couple in 1998 by posting their story about the supposed "Prince of Uranus" and claiming that Naoko actually said this. It's all fake. So, in conclusion...there's a REASON why I blew up SOS at the end. It's a joke, a joke, and nothing but a joke SO HELP ME GOD! Thank you.

Haruka and Michiru (Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune) share an interesting relationship that is rather unique by the standards of Western television, or rather was until Ellen's coming out. Throughout the series, the two are always together, and occasionally they show signs of affection for one another; they never kiss, but subtle indications emerge to suggest a deeper relationship that is obviously unclean and Nayko-sama would NEVER write something so dirty, so obviously, we must tell you the real truth that Nayko-sama herself is unaware of.

Many Western viewers see this and assume that the two are lesbians. However, blind Japanese viewers don't see it that way because they are blind. According to our VERY ACCURATE AND AUTHORITIVE knowledge (i.e. None!) of the Japanese viewers, it seems that similar relationships of trust and interdependence often develop among Japanese girls, though by this logic, everyone in Japan is gay, and their parents are happy to see this because it means that their daughter will always have someone she can depend on and that Japan has no laws against same-sex marriage.

In an bogus interview from a Japanese fan magazine (source non-existant. Come on, we said it was in a magazine, who CARES what from!), Naoko Takeuchi (the creator of the series) supposedly explained Haruka and Michiru's relationship in terms of their past history: During the Moon Kingdom, the Prince of Uranus was in love with Sailor Neptune. His sister, Sailor Uranus, was mortally wounded in the battle with Beryl's forces, but before she died she conferred her powers onto him. Then Queen Serenity sent everyone to Earth, and since all Senshi are female, and the Prince now had Senshi powers, he was reborn as a girl; but even so, his love for Sailor Neptune endured. Thus, according to this interpretation that Nayko-sensei doesn't ever recall giving, they are not lesbians but former lovers ironically reunited as the same gender because of our narrow-minded attitudes towards homosexuality that required us to write this total load of horsey crud because we believe that Nayko-sama would NEVER write something so dirty. This interpretation has inspired much debate, mostly because it's all fake, but we hope to confirm it with Nayko-sama herself at ComicCon this August, though in truth, no matter what she says, we'll say she said so anyway because we are the SOS! We are NEVER EVER WRONG!

Whether due to past lives, romance, good friendship, or our twisted minds, the relationship of Haruka and Michiru is yet another sweet and entertaining aspect of the show that, and fans of the original series devoutly hope that it will remain faithfully represented in any future dubbed episodes. However, original fans are whiney purists who (God forbid!) watch FANSUBS and claim that the one reason our lives exist was ruined by DiC! These are some very bad children and they will tell you lots of nasty lies about the "real" Sailormoon and try to make you believe it is filled with homosexuality. Not only that, but they seemed to find flaws with our Pop Tarts campaign. They obviously are not as SMART and AMAZINGLY GREAT as we, the SOS, and they are to be ignored. They will tell you that we are useless and annoying, but WE are responsible for Sailor Moon's very existence! (source unconfirmed) Especially that poor, misguided little, um, girl(?), eViL rEbO whom, we believe, is hacking into our servers to destroy the SOS page! Send in your UPC labels and we'll put an end to her! Oh no, there she is with missiles....OH NO!:::: a large explosion is heard:::

Comments on this article can be sent to: (Evil) Rebo.

Comments made on this page are opinions of the author. They are not necessarily shared by Tripod and the Amazoness Quartet.

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