The Lemures Files
  Guest Article: March 11th, 2000

What an Alternative!

By: Q. Irk

An otaku-filled room, a door opens. The author steps in, comes to a stop in front of the group of SM fans, and clears her throat.

"Today I shall discuss DiC..."

Pauses to dodge as shoes, chairs, and a cat are thrown in the vague direction of her head.

"Ack! Stop that! It's only about licensing agreements, I swear!"

"Are you *sure* this is something we don't know already?" asks an irate shoe-weilder.

"Hai!" Author grins and peeks from behind a convenient podium.

"Fine then..." the crowd of otaku murmur. The author grins and stands up.

"Arigatou. As I mentioned, this discussion will be on DiC and it's licence to distribute Sailor Moon on North American shores. Firstly, I'd like to tell you a story!"

Miscellaneous groans from the audience.

"Stop that! It's a good one!"

"Well, I hopped into some months back. I don't get a chance to go to newsgroups often, so it was by complete chance that I found an interesting discussion in there. After a little poking about I found out that when DiC got their licence they had to compete with several other companies. One of these was..."

"Yeah?" said a sarcastic voice from the audience.

"I'll have you know that was a DRAMATIC PAUSE! You shouldn't have interrupted!" Author regains her composure. "Well, it was Saban."


"Horrible, isn't it?" the author asks, crossing her arms in satisfaction.

"Hey..." said another otaku, "you're making that up! This is just another unsupported claim! I'm sure next you'll be reading out an interview from Naoko that you got from a newspaper in Thailand saying that Chibi-Usa is really Rubeus's daughter!"

Murmurs of agreement.

"Oh really?" The author's eyes gleamed. "But, my dear otaku, I can prove it."

"All companies had to submit a trailer. It would give Toei an idea of what they were planning for the series. BEHOLD THE AVI!!!"

All otaku turn towards a screen in the back.

"This avi is a sample of this trailer, found as a link on the AFS-M newsgroup taken from a video in a hotel at a convention! Scream in horror at the live-action dancing! Cower from the bad american cop-out animation! Squirm as you realize what could have been!" The author bursts into insane villainous laughter as the otaku stare in morbid fascination at the screen.


"They can't DO that..." murmured the otaku.

"They could've. Then again, someone else could have bought the licence, turned out a nice dub and subbed the episodes for retail video sale. Who's to say? The point is, my friends," the author leaned smiling against the podium, "is that if DiC hadn't gotten the licence, someone else would. Who's to say? So don't wish that DiC hadn't done it. Don't pray that history changes itself and a company did a better job. It's irrelevant, isn't it? But..." she looked up at the dazed otaku.

"Thank your lucky stars Saban didn't get it."

Comments on this article can be sent to: Q. Irk.

Comments made on this page are opinions of the author. They are not necessarily shared by Tripod and the Amazoness Quartet.

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