By: Q. Irk
An otaku-filled room, a door opens. The author steps in,
comes to a stop in
front of the group of SM fans, and clears her throat.
"Today I shall discuss DiC..."
Pauses to dodge as shoes, chairs, and a cat are thrown in
the vague
direction of her head.
"Ack! Stop that! It's only about licensing agreements, I
swear!"
"Are you *sure* this is something we don't know already?"
asks an irate
shoe-weilder.
"Hai!" Author grins and peeks from behind a convenient
podium.
"Fine then..." the crowd of otaku murmur. The author grins
and stands up.
"Arigatou. As I mentioned, this discussion will be on DiC
and it's licence
to distribute Sailor Moon on North American shores.
Firstly, I'd like to
tell you a story!"
Miscellaneous groans from the audience.
"Stop that! It's a good one!"
"Well, I hopped into alt.fan.sailor-moon some months back.
I don't get a
chance to go to newsgroups often, so it was by complete
chance that I found
an interesting discussion in there. After a little poking
about I found out
that when DiC got their licence they had to compete with
several other
companies. One of these was..."
"Yeah?" said a sarcastic voice from the audience.
"I'll have you know that was a DRAMATIC PAUSE! You
shouldn't have
interrupted!" Author regains her composure. "Well, it was
Saban."
GASPS!
"Horrible, isn't it?" the author asks, crossing her arms in
satisfaction.
"Hey..." said another otaku, "you're making that up! This
is just another
unsupported claim! I'm sure next you'll be reading out an
interview from
Naoko that you got from a newspaper in Thailand saying that
Chibi-Usa is
really Rubeus's daughter!"
Murmurs of agreement.
"Oh really?" The author's eyes gleamed. "But, my dear
otaku, I can prove
it."
"All companies had to submit a trailer. It would give Toei
an idea of what
they were planning for the series. BEHOLD THE AVI!!!"
All otaku turn towards a screen in the back.
"This avi is a sample of this trailer, found as a link on
the AFS-M
newsgroup taken from a video in a hotel at a convention!
Scream in horror
at the live-action dancing! Cower from the bad american
cop-out animation!
Squirm as you realize what could have been!" The author
bursts into insane
villainous laughter as the otaku stare in morbid
fascination at the screen.
"B-but..."
"They can't DO that..." murmured the otaku.
"They could've. Then again, someone else could have bought
the licence,
turned out a nice dub and subbed the episodes for retail
video sale. Who's
to say? The point is, my friends," the author leaned
smiling against the
podium, "is that if DiC hadn't gotten the licence, someone
else would.
Who's to say? So don't wish that DiC hadn't done it.
Don't pray that
history changes itself and a company did a better job.
It's irrelevant,
isn't it? But..." she looked up at the dazed otaku.
"Thank your lucky stars Saban didn't get it."
Comments on this article can be sent to: Q. Irk.
